i need to build a blog

howdy. it's sunday, 11/6/22. not sure if you guys saw the ad they put in the sky: https://twitter.com/lulumeservey/status/1588366970524954624 . it was heartening to see the replies were all negative. the constant advertisements have been getting to me for a while now. every day of your life you see an ad. everytime you look at a screen, or leave the house, or check the mail. induces weltschmerz pretty fast.

it can be overwhelming. but i think we underestimate the ripple effect that can happen if we perservere with heart and build our lives. if you build a little life you love, you can help your friends and family, strangers, and it goes on. help can be material, or just a little inspiration, because so many of us are bogged down with work eating our spirits. i feel that i have to specify that building a life you love will naturally have that love/joy/heart ripple out. building a life of excess, of material riches, is not the same. hiding from the world will only bring you cold comfort. it can be overwhelming when we face the world, but if we focus on ourselves it becomes more manageable. if we can transform our lives, it will transform the world (partly because to honestly face the world we must face ourselves). we're not serperate from it, it's all one in the same.

11/9/22. had a conversation with a coworker sort of about this today. how life is about experiences, not money. in this system, we need money for security but to not let it consume you.

11.22.22 RE: https://www.reddit.com/r/zlibrary/comments/z1q4tr/comment/ixg0vrj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 as someone who i think was in the very last wave of people to have like typing lessons/computer class etc. it was (and still can be) hard to wrap my brain around how different younger (than me) people's conception of the internet is. Everything is an app. everything is invasive (has a t+c, needs ur name phone email address etc). everything is designed to be addictive. and everything is online, if u didnt post about it did it happen? (which might seem dumb but when you're raised by a screen..) social media, like tiktok, is (sometimes) the only way they know to be online. either they get curious and lucky, or someone introduces them, and they realize the internet can be different! and was. (internet as a tool vs internet as this constant immediate gratification ego thing) i'm hoping this is an instance that will generate some pondering fingers crossed

12.16.22 i am overwhelmed by the amount of trash we produce. why is everything is made to be disposable. profit. why must the goal always be to maximize profit. try investing in LOVE.

2.7.23 a bit late, but happy 2023 :*

2.10.23 too much screen time last few weeks. I signifigantly reduced my screen time for about 25 days, but since being home I spend all day applying to jobs and then my breaks are also on screens. It doesn't feel good, my body doesn't like it. Headaches, eyestrain, tight muscles, etc. Sort of feels like being dehydrated. Talk about a tolerance break lmao

3.23.23 i've started crocheting! I've been trying to develop a creative craft this year by doing a little something every day. With drawing i know the basics, so it tends to be very independent for me. With crocheting, I've found many cool artists through patterns and tutorials! love to see other young people being into/contributing to the slow fashion movement:) and crafty/creative things in general! I've also tried polymer clay sculpting which I found really difficult, but maybe I should have started with easier projects, haha. my frog and fairy did turn out cute tho! I'd also like to try throwing on a wheel again. I took a pottery class when I was quite young, but haven't done any since. Might get around to making a DIY kick wheel next month... can't believe it's already going to be April! and the spring equinox was a few days ago. Time to going by quickly, even as the days feel kinda slow.

1.15.24 i finished crocheting my first hat yesterday:)